A Girl Who Gives the Middle Finger to the Camera
I am a bad-ass because stuntmen on television shows fall down when hit by one-hundred-and-ten-pound women like Lena Headey on Terminator, Eliza Dushku on The Dollhouse, Sarah Michelle Gellar on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jessica Alba on Dark Angel and Gabrielle Anwar in Burn Notice. Therefore I believe that I, too, with my toned body thanks to four spinning classes a week, can karate-chop any All-Pro NFL linebacker and they will simply fall to the floor in a whimpering mound of steroid-induced flesh. Men, if you do not believe my claim to being a tough chick, then check out my Facebook profile – hint: I’m the one giving the camera the middle finger and wearing the tight shirt revealing a rack to rival Jennifer Love Hewitt before she became a serious actress on Ghost Whisperer. The smirk adds to my naughty mysticism, to say nothing of how I purposely misspell words on my daily comment blurb and write “feck” instead of “fuck.” No one fucks with…whoops, excuse me, no one fecks with me! I would like to think that I am the only white girl with no muscle definition who hand-signals the words “fuck you” in photos. But truth be told, I have seen many rich college girls putting on this same bold display of personal rebellion. I trolled MySpace to find many toned, athletic girls with tattoos also presenting the single digit to the omnipresent camera. That means that the majority of young American girls are rebels I know there are many men out there who share my crazy and dangerous habit of addressing the camera with the universal hand signal for defiance. These are my soul mates, one of whom I hope will join me in a Holy Fuck You Photo Op, and together we will be pseudo rebels who spawn kids that we will someday slap up-side the head if ever they pose for a family portrait holding aloft their tiny middle finger. What bad boy can show me the hottest middle finger?
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Hi, I am that girl who poses for pictures while holding up my middle finger. This is done for the simple reason that I am a rebel – not a rebel in the sense of being willing to live in the woods eating bark and trying to overthrow the government (though I do wear a Che Guevera T-shirt) – more a rebel because I dye my hair two colors and have the hots for vampires. I have tattoos of Chinese symbols that, when translated to IM abbreviation, recount the prophesy of a lone wolf destined to bring down the World Bank, however much the symbols were copied straight from a Chinese take-out menu next to the Crab Rangoon entrée. You see, the World Bank is evil, while all Third World denizens are sages who understand things that are a mystery to Westerners, like how to take a machete to a baby Tutsi. True, I have an IRA and stock in a mutual fund, but still I am a rebel at heart as evidenced by the aforementioned middle finger that I hold up at parties while using the other hand to hold a red cup of beer. I am such a bad-ass!