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Barack Obama has been elected President of the United States. Thus his running mate, Joe Biden, will now preside over the Senate ....read more

personals

  • Man Seeking Woman

Full House
Single Dad Who Uses His Kids to Meet Girls
That’s me, one of those annoying single dads who parades his kids around parks and lingerie shows, using the tikes to break the ice with girls .... more

  • Woman Seeking Man

Hillbillys
Love Me for My Seven Bratty Kids
Family is very important to me. That means that my seven children from seven different fathers should be important to you, too. Yes, sir, that is my stomach has more stretch marks ... more

    • Cliche Advice of the Week

    "Life is short, and so is a midget."

    HEADLINES

    MySpace Party Crashes Town

    A small town in the heartland of America lost its electrical power as a result of a party thrown by local Chucky Lindbergh, to which he had invited all 25,608 of his MySpace friends. The 25-year-old Lindbergh is the director of web technology at Johnson’s Feed Store on Main Street. ... read more
    Guess the Verbose Song Lyric

    "This prodigious terrestrial allotment has a lease that bears your name, this same vast acreage of non-oceanic matter is my domain..."

    PHRASE OF THE DAY

    Dry Sense of Humor:

    A sense of humor found in someone with no sense of humor by someone who wants to see a sense of humor in a boring friend.

    Tv character obituaries

    Jessica Fletcher Murdered by Host
    The FonzeFamed mystery writer and all-around nosy old bitty, Jessica Fletcher, was murdered this past weekend at the home of all-around eccentric, Ralph Nadir. The novelist and the town crank had been the only residents left in this quaint fishing town... read more
         

    Sports
    Car flip
    PHILADELPHIA, PA – A barrage of violence swept through the City of Brotherly Love in the wake of the hometown Phillies winning their first championship in 28 years. . ... more
    sports section

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    Celebrity News

    Clooney
    George Clooney Set on Becoming World’s Sexiest Dead Man
    All the world -- and France -- knows George Clooney as an erstwhile movies star (on the big screen, his roguish smile has been known to silence black people....